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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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The day I understand females will be the day i'll be officially known as Jesus
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 16:16pm

Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 11:55am

WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ‪#‎ SLEEPING‬the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 11:03am

Why do people who insult themselves get mad when you agree with them?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:37am

Based on how many times I've dropped my phone, I'm gonna hold off on the whole baby thing.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:37am

It's not that I'm judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:37am

Iím so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:36am

Me: Well hello again. I knew you'd be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:36am

We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can't eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:36am

When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherf*ckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:36am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Inspirational status: Todayís probably going to suck. Donít be a little bitch and handle that sh!t.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:36am

Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:36am

Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:35am

Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:35am

I'm not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:35am

I've decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:35am

Not to brag, but I'm pretty good in bed. I don't snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:35am

Unless your kidís fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:34am

I found out why I'm still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:34am

WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.23.14 @ 09:34am

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