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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I donít understand decaf coffee. Itís like sex without the sex.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:51am

Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:51am

Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:51am

Sometimes, I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:51am

Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:51am

Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:51am

See above or below for better statuses.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:50am

Nothing is really lost until your mom canít find it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:50am

Eventually weíre just gonna have to accept ďduckingĒ is a swear word.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:50am

Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:50am

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive. However, we are now posting more that we would have rejected for not being funny to us. As long as it's not vulgar or unreadable or not even related to a silly status.
Check out more at Almost Silly Statuses

You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens Iíve cracked?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:50am

Today is national bring your flask to work day. I just made it up. Tell the others...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:49am

MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:49am

First rule of Pizza club, you donít share it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:49am

I just told my wife it took her longer to pick a Netflix movie than it took me to pick out her engagement ring and that was a bad analogy.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:49am

Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:49am

I'm "keeps a pair of underwear in the glove box because I don't trust my farts anymore" years old.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:49am

If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:48am

It's acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I'm asking for a friend...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:48am

My neighbor put the box his fridge came in on the curb for trash pickup. Guess who has a new fort!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 02.27.15 @ 11:48am

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