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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Bored, so Iím going to find a kid that looks like me and tell him Iím him from the future.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:14pm

Debt doesn't buy happiness either.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:14pm

Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:13pm

Itís funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:13pm

Hangovers are nature's way of grounding you as an adult.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:13pm

It's actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:12pm

"How about if I put a balloon over it? Would you touch it then?" -guy who invented condoms
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:12pm

Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That's really not necessary
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:11pm

Right now a FedEx driver is dropkicking your Christmas gift onto someoneís front porch.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny Christmas status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:11pm

"I'll drink to that." -me to my next drink
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:11pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive. However, we are now posting more that we would have rejected for not being funny to us. As long as it's not vulgar or unreadable or not even related to a silly status.
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After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:10pm

Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:10pm

Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:10pm

If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it's technically a cat
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:10pm

"But why?" - Me at weddings
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:10pm

Even though I'm a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:09pm

Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don't have? For example, right now I want tacos
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:09pm

It's always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:09pm

"I have no idea. Why don't you just Google it?" óMy answer to just about every question I'm ever asked
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:09pm

F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:07pm

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