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You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Tuesday, 10.30.18 @ 15:15pm

I was Christmas shopping for a friend's daughter... I asked what she was into and he said "anything Frozen" So, I got her a bag of peas and some pizza rolls.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Tuesday, 10.30.18 @ 15:15pm

I guess Iíll take my Christmas tree down today.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 03.25.18 @ 16:15pm

Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.31.17 @ 15:42pm

Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don't think soooo.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Saturday, 12.23.17 @ 15:53pm

"Oh wow, it's a fruit cake! I'm going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Saturday, 12.23.17 @ 15:52pm

Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can't be with them for the holidays. But don't be jealous.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Saturday, 12.23.17 @ 15:47pm

Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.17.17 @ 15:06pm

You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.17.17 @ 15:05pm

Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it's voice activated. I'm at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.17.17 @ 15:04pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy's laptop
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.17.17 @ 15:04pm

We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.17.17 @ 14:58pm

I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 11.26.17 @ 17:40pm

Can't wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 11.26.17 @ 17:09pm

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I'll pop open the red and drink that.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 11.26.17 @ 17:02pm

The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Monday, 01.2.17 @ 17:31pm

Kinda bummed that every Christmas for the last 12 years, I've been way too drunk to remember all the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, I leaned my lesson. It's time to get my act together for the family. This Christmas, I'm hiring a cameraman.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.11.16 @ 15:33pm

Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.4.16 @ 12:49pm

Last year I won a $50 gift card to Chili's at a Christmas raffle. ...... This year I've decided my Secret Santa gift is going to be a $14.37 gift card to Chili's.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.4.16 @ 12:49pm

I bet someone could get really rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights!
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.4.16 @ 12:48pm

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