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Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
Category: funny Christmas status update on Friday, 12.20.13 @ 01:39am

Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you've been dating the ugly sister
Category: funny Christmas status update on Thursday, 12.19.13 @ 11:33am

Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Thursday, 12.19.13 @ 11:32am

Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Thursday, 12.19.13 @ 11:30am

I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me 'Will you be putting it up yourself?' I told him, 'No, you sicko, it's going in the living room!'
Category: funny Christmas status update on Thursday, 12.19.13 @ 11:29am

Rum balls, rum cake, rum spiked eggnog, rum in fruitcakes...you know, anymore, there's more of the Captain than of Christ in Christmas...
Category: funny Christmas status update on Wednesday, 12.18.13 @ 13:38pm

If Santa doesn't bring me something good I'm going to pee in his lap like I did when I was eight.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Wednesday, 12.18.13 @ 11:04am

I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Wednesday, 12.18.13 @ 11:03am

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for half an hour.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Wednesday, 12.18.13 @ 11:01am

We're sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
Category: funny Christmas status update on Wednesday, 12.18.13 @ 11:00am

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Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
Category: funny Christmas status update on Wednesday, 12.18.13 @ 00:44am

If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
Category: funny Christmas status update on Tuesday, 12.17.13 @ 11:16am

For Christmas I just want summer...
Category: funny Christmas status update on Monday, 12.16.13 @ 10:53am

Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.15.13 @ 10:41am

Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Sunday, 12.15.13 @ 10:37am

I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it's like two gifts in one!!
Category: funny Christmas status update on Friday, 12.13.13 @ 12:05pm

You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
Category: funny Christmas status update on Wednesday, 12.11.13 @ 22:54pm

"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? 'cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Wednesday, 12.11.13 @ 11:52am

My Christmas tree smells like pine, and is hanging from the shift lever in my car.
Category: funny Christmas status update on Friday, 12.6.13 @ 10:46am

My elf name may be Pinkie McWhiskertickles, but I can still take you in an Easy Bake oven competition.
Category: Christmas status update on Thursday, 12.5.13 @ 17:18pm

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