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Why can't Ghosts have babies? Cuz' they have Hollow weenies! 😂
Category: Halloween status update on Tuesday, 10.28.14 @ 01:36am

Decades have gone by and STILL my parents have not given back the Halloween candy they took from me "for safe keeping".
Category: Halloween status update on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 08:31am

The number one reason why trick or treating is better than sex is, you can do the whole neighborhood.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 07:31am

I thought about dressing up as Turn Signal for Halloween, but nobody around here knows what that is............
Category: Halloween status update on Sunday, 10.12.14 @ 09:38am

I'm surprised kids haven't found a way to trick or treat online yet
Category: funny Halloween status update on Friday, 11.1.13 @ 10:07am

That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…
Category: funny Halloween status update on Thursday, 10.31.13 @ 10:44am

Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Thursday, 10.31.13 @ 10:43am

I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Thursday, 10.31.13 @ 10:40am

Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
Category: funny Halloween status update on Thursday, 10.31.13 @ 10:40am

Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume…
Category: funny Halloween status update on Thursday, 10.31.13 @ 10:39am

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For Halloween I'm going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Tuesday, 10.29.13 @ 10:19am

Okay kids don't ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger's houses except on the day we worship the devil.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Monday, 10.28.13 @ 08:55am

8 more days and I will finally get rid of last years Halloween candy.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Wednesday, 10.23.13 @ 10:09am

If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Monday, 10.21.13 @ 10:25am

I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
Category: funny Halloween status update on Monday, 10.21.13 @ 10:22am

Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Monday, 10.21.13 @ 10:17am

Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
Category: funny Halloween status update on Saturday, 10.19.13 @ 10:21am

The main thing I learned from watching my wife carve pumpkins is she’s really good at stabbing things. I should probably be nicer to her.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Thursday, 10.17.13 @ 08:27am

I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
Category: funny Halloween status update on Friday, 09.27.13 @ 08:38am

This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Category: funny Halloween status update on Friday, 09.27.13 @ 08:36am

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