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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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i think instead of''LOL''i am going to go with''SALTS''(smiled a little then stopped)it,s more truthful.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.11.18 @ 09:56am

The CEO of NASCAR was arrested for DWI. I bet the police found him driving really fast in circles.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.6.18 @ 13:39pm

Mallzheimers: When you go to the mall and later forget where you parked your car.
Posted By: sage - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.6.18 @ 11:47am

The inventor of throat lozenges has passed away. There will be no coffin at his funeral
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.4.18 @ 14:25pm

Went to my doctors for my annual checkup. Doctor grabbed my testicles and said, “Yup! You’re still nuts. See you next year.”
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.4.18 @ 07:23am

One night I was in bed and looked up to the stars. I thought to my self where the hell is the roof
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.31.18 @ 04:05am

People on Facebook think I’m a nice guy, it’s true...You can be anything online
Posted By: James Craven - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.30.18 @ 15:50pm

Once I ate a whole banana, skin and all. I found it quite unappeeling.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.23.18 @ 07:14am

I went to Disneyland but I don't remember it. I think somebody slipped me a Mickey at the snack bar.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.22.18 @ 06:39am

Now that i have lost weight is it a wise choice to buy new jeans or put the weight back on?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.22.18 @ 05:30am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
I won the dry t-shirt contest at church camp, said no one ever.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.21.18 @ 01:33am

Dear sneeze, If you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and leave it at that. Sincerely, I look like an idiot.
Posted By: WJB - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 07.20.18 @ 11:15am

you will always remember your first crush. Mine was Orange
Posted By: Kyla - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.19.18 @ 20:12pm

Dear Refrigerator, I'll be back in half an hour. Please go shopping... Sincerely, hungry.
Posted By: WJB - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.17.18 @ 11:59am

The Homerun Derby would be a lot more interesting if, instead of kids, they had a bunch of drunken 40 year old men chasing after the fly balls.
Posted By: Bear - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.17.18 @ 10:27am

I tried standup comedy but got tired and had to sit down.
Posted By: sage - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 07.11.18 @ 11:51am

One day many years ago there was a man who didn't drink any beer. But it was many years ago and it was only for that one day...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.9.18 @ 08:58am

It's so damn hot out, 2 Hobbits just threw a ring in my backyard!
Posted By: Lonnie Root - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.1.18 @ 12:33pm

I held the door for a Millennial today at the convenience store.......he asked me for my phone number so he could text me “thank you”
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.27.18 @ 15:31pm

So I had a romantic candle light dinner with an Amish woman and she acted like it was just an ordinary meal...
Posted By: Mr sharp - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.26.18 @ 14:59pm

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