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I'm fat. But I identify as skinny. I'm transfat.
Posted By: Biddzman - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.17.19 @ 21:18pm
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.9.19 @ 00:51am
My New Years resolution for 2018 is to stop procrastinating
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.7.19 @ 07:36am
I wish these people would stop buying these old police cruisers, making me crap my pants and drive safely for no good reason!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 12.23.18 @ 08:21am
Kids today will never know the struggle of flipping a cassette tape in a Walk-Man will riding on a bicycle at the same time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 12.23.18 @ 03:07am
I've gotten to the age where, "Snap, Crackle & Pop", aren't the sounds of my breakfast cereal, but rather the sounds my body makes getting out of bed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 12.20.18 @ 13:19pm
I once fell into an upholstery machine but now I'm fully recovered
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 12.15.18 @ 08:50am
I was walking in the forest and I found a skull! I called the police and they told me not to move it. Well, I already had moved it, but I was scared to tell them that, so I picked it up carefully by one of the antlers and put it back exactly where it was.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 12.10.18 @ 09:08am
My bootleg copy of Bohemian Rhapsody sucks - all I can see is a little silhouetto of a man.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.4.18 @ 14:07pm
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 12.2.18 @ 17:28pm
Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
The young couple next door to me recently made a sex tape. They don't know about it yet though!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.29.18 @ 10:33am
So sick of Black Friday shopping and this year I decided to shop with Amazon. No fights, no crowds, no rushes, great deals! It's amazing you can get by following their delivery truck.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.25.18 @ 17:58pm
I love Halloween. It's the only night of the year I can wear a wedding dress without looking desperate. 😵😨😳🤔😡🤢
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.24.18 @ 07:28am
If ever you see me sniffing your butt, drinking out the toilet or peeing on a tree, please don’t get offended... my dog is my therapist
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.18.18 @ 02:48am
I plan on leaving this world the same way I came in...buck naked screaming and peeing on everything thing in sight..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.18.18 @ 02:46am
Real men don't photoshop!
Posted By: Steve W. - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.17.18 @ 22:45pm
In Trinidad and Tobago, it will cost you $2.50 for a steak pie. In Jamaica, it will cost you $3.50 for a steak pie. These are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.17.18 @ 03:19am
The beef burrito is made with beef. The chicken burrito is made with chicken. The Monster Burrito is therefore quite disappointing.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.16.18 @ 09:03am
Why has there not been a horror movie called The Wrath Of Grapes?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.16.18 @ 00:34am
I found a way to get rid of junk laying around the house. Seal it up in an Amazon box and set it on the porch.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.14.18 @ 19:04pm