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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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The young couple next door to me recently made a sex tape. They don't know about it yet though!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.29.18 @ 10:33am

So sick of Black Friday shopping and this year I decided to shop with Amazon. No fights, no crowds, no rushes, great deals! It's amazing you can get by following their delivery truck.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.25.18 @ 17:58pm

I love Halloween. It's the only night of the year I can wear a wedding dress without looking desperate. 😵😨😳🤔😡🤢
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.24.18 @ 07:28am

If ever you see me sniffing your butt, drinking out the toilet or peeing on a tree, please don’t get offended... my dog is my therapist
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.18.18 @ 02:48am

I plan on leaving this world the same way I came in...buck naked screaming and peeing on everything thing in sight..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.18.18 @ 02:46am

Real men don't photoshop!
Posted By: Steve W. - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.17.18 @ 22:45pm

In Trinidad and Tobago, it will cost you $2.50 for a steak pie. In Jamaica, it will cost you $3.50 for a steak pie. These are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.17.18 @ 03:19am

The beef burrito is made with beef. The chicken burrito is made with chicken. The Monster Burrito is therefore quite disappointing.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.16.18 @ 09:03am

Why has there not been a horror movie called The Wrath Of Grapes?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.16.18 @ 00:34am

I found a way to get rid of junk laying around the house. Seal it up in an Amazon box and set it on the porch.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.14.18 @ 19:04pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? DONUTS!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.12.18 @ 07:21am

Next time I am going set my clocks back to when I was 14. I want to ruin my life differently, I have new ideas.!
Posted By: JD - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.4.18 @ 07:40am

I just one 2 bucks on the multimillion dollar lottery ticket. Please respect our privacy as our family decides how to move forward in this excited and pivotal moment in our life.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.3.18 @ 20:01pm

My favorite part about Halloween is seeing all the confused Jehovah's Witnesses wandering around, wondering why people keep giving them candy!
Posted By: Yomama - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.31.18 @ 16:31pm

I never realized how many orphaned highways we have until I noticed all the signs of people who've proudly adopted them.
Posted By: sage - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.29.18 @ 13:00pm

A wise man once told me to always listen carefully because…um…I forgot
Posted By: Mark Pritchard - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.27.18 @ 06:36am

My girlfriend wanted me to take her somewhere expensive for dinner so I took her to the grocery store
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.26.18 @ 15:08pm

Don't accept any friend requests from Taco Bell. They're nacho friend!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.23.18 @ 15:42pm

The key to success is concentration, a skill which can be learned with - oh wow, that cloud looks like Snoopy!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.20.18 @ 05:55am

I told my doctor I think I have sleep apnea. He asked if I was always tired. Yes. Do you fall asleep during sex? No, but she does.
Posted By: ROBCOG - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.19.18 @ 13:20pm

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