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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.16.15 @ 22:33pm

insted of your biological clock is ticking, woman should say they have restless egg syndrome
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.16.15 @ 00:36am

I turned my phone to airplane mode and threw it up in the air. WORST TRANSFORMSTION EVER..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.15.15 @ 17:39pm

I don't work out with weights because getting bigger will just make my penis look smaller.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 12.14.15 @ 14:28pm

How on earth am I suppose to save the world when I can't even figure out how to recycle a pizza box??
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 12.10.15 @ 00:06am

Life Is Too Short. .Smile While You Still Have Teeth
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.9.15 @ 18:52pm

If people are talking behind your back then just fart!
Posted By: Baribor Saturday - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.9.15 @ 13:10pm

if a status is funny you will read it twice,if a status is funny you will read it twice
Posted By: G.apai - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.9.15 @ 11:05am

When it comes to jokes about elves, I'm a little short.
Posted By: Just Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 12.6.15 @ 09:57am

My Father had Macular degeneration in both of his eyes, when he passed away I found two full boxes of playboy Magazines in his belongings, I was like Oh Shit, he was right, YOU WILL GO BLIND LOOKING AT THESE!
Posted By: CCC - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 12.5.15 @ 06:25am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
If you ever glue a handle on a coffee cup, make sure the glue is dry before you put your finger in it. I'm just saying...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.1.15 @ 17:21pm

I really wish the dollar store would start selling gas.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.1.15 @ 16:35pm

If there's one thing to say about Levi Strauss, it's that we know who wore the pants in that family.
Posted By: Just Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.1.15 @ 10:13am

Your mama is so stupid, she goes to the shower with an umbrella
Posted By: Lucas Mofokeng - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.1.15 @ 09:48am

I have a medical condition that prohibits my weight loss....I have OCD ....Obsessive Cheeto Disorder !
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.30.15 @ 05:04am

You’re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job
Posted By: George Nteo - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.28.15 @ 07:13am

Sometimes I just get so frustrated by rush-hour traffic that I slam my head on the steering wheel and lean on the horn. That's usually followed by the bus driver telling me to get out.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.27.15 @ 19:02pm

9 out of 10 people recommend that their Doctor keep their advice to themselves, on what is good or not good for you to eat for Thanksgiving Dinner.
Posted By: CCC - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.26.15 @ 06:32am

-Why did Adele cross the road?? -To say hello from the other side...
Posted By: stfujjay - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.24.15 @ 17:12pm

I hate the word friendzone! "Especially when Im out with a woman who tells me that she loves me like a brother!......Unless she's from Alabama of course.
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.23.15 @ 11:19am

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