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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Posted By: shirlgirl - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.30.15 @ 16:45pm

DOC: The plastic surgery will cost you 90k.ME: What if ? provide you with the plastics, how much will you charge?
Posted By: Destinez - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 12.28.15 @ 04:18am

Wife said she wanted some Hot Steamy Action. Apparently bringing her the Ironing wasn't what she meant. This couch isn't so bad...
Posted By: Neil - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 12.26.15 @ 06:05am

I am proud to announce that I can now speak fluent autocorrect!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.25.15 @ 19:46pm

Remember those times when Apple and Blackberry where merely fruits
Posted By: Viktor Jay Zulu - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 12.24.15 @ 03:29am

You know it's almost Christmas when the first spongebob Christmas episode is on
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.22.15 @ 21:42pm

Come to Burger King we let everybody keep their crown Steve Harvey!
Posted By: CCC - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.22.15 @ 21:19pm

Figuring the circumference of a circle is as easy as pi.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.22.15 @ 08:39am

I tried to embrace my inner child today. The lil bastard bit me!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 12.19.15 @ 18:20pm

On the twelve day of Christmas facebook gave to me Twelve freaks I'm blocking, Eleven friend just lurking, Ten corny topics, Nine phony friendships, Eight friends complaining, Six music invites Fiiiive drama queeeeeens Four game request, Three photo tags, Two friends just pokng And their sponsored adds in my side baaaar!
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.18.15 @ 21:31pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Apparently superheroes don't understand what underwear means.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.18.15 @ 08:34am

Just a heads up. Enterprise, (car rental) will not come pick you up and drop you off at the movie theater. I tried.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 12.17.15 @ 14:25pm

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.16.15 @ 22:33pm

insted of your biological clock is ticking, woman should say they have restless egg syndrome
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.16.15 @ 00:36am

I turned my phone to airplane mode and threw it up in the air. WORST TRANSFORMSTION EVER..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.15.15 @ 17:39pm

I don't work out with weights because getting bigger will just make my penis look smaller.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 12.14.15 @ 14:28pm

How on earth am I suppose to save the world when I can't even figure out how to recycle a pizza box??
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 12.10.15 @ 00:06am

Life Is Too Short. .Smile While You Still Have Teeth
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.9.15 @ 18:52pm

If people are talking behind your back then just fart!
Posted By: Baribor Saturday - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.9.15 @ 13:10pm

if a status is funny you will read it twice,if a status is funny you will read it twice
Posted By: G.apai - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.9.15 @ 11:05am

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