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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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God is really creative,i mean..just look at me:)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.17.16 @ 06:53am

Stuck in traffic, but luckily a few people are honking their horns, so we'll be moving any second now
Posted By: Peaditty - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.11.16 @ 19:45pm

Boss texted me: Send me one of your funny jokes Me: I'm working now.. I can't Boss: That was fantastic, send me another one!
Posted By: Peaditty - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.11.16 @ 19:38pm

Pull my finger is a immature bodily function joke that kids tell. Unless you're drunk and at your in laws house then it's hilarious.
Posted By: Clarke - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.11.16 @ 17:59pm

...and there I stood staring into toilet, wondering how something so smelly could come out someone so beautiful...
Posted By: banger - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.9.16 @ 23:18pm

just turned wine into vomit. your move, Jesus
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.4.16 @ 07:20am

The biggest step in a relationship isn't the first kiss, it's the first fart.
Posted By: Bear - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.2.16 @ 19:33pm

My Facebook feed is full of Halloween posts instead of people's bullshit political opinions. I say we extend Halloween until November 9.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.2.16 @ 05:17am

I'm good at sleeping , I can do it with my eyes closed.
Posted By: Apumelele - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.31.16 @ 07:18am

Hi sisters. brothers , Uncle ,Aunt Thank you for reading i have nothing to say
Posted By: nonni yanaa - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.30.16 @ 01:35am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
The wife bought me an early Christmas gift......a selfie stick. It's amazing...I can now scratch areas of my body that I could never reach before!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.28.16 @ 11:58am

My sex life could be better if my wife would just get along with my girlfriend.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.28.16 @ 10:54am

OH MY GOD! IT'S ALIENS! They're here, they're right outside! I can see their ship. It has flickering light that . . . wait a sec . . . Yep, that's a plane.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.26.16 @ 06:55am

No shoes No shirt no service but where does it say anything about assless chaps..I yelled to the manager as I was being forced out
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.22.16 @ 17:37pm

Monica Lewensky has just announced she won't vote for Hillary Clinton. She says the last Clinton Presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.20.16 @ 16:14pm

That moment when you realize that the person who you were talking to left the room a few minutes ago.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.20.16 @ 10:46am

Have you ever met someone for the first time and wanted to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.17.16 @ 05:55am

its good to know that your ex is dating someone you can draw with your left hand
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.17.16 @ 05:15am

Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.14.16 @ 00:42am

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "You're under arrest, get in the basket."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.8.16 @ 05:42am

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