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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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If I'm Driving You Crazy, Please Remember To Put Your Seatbelt On.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.13.17 @ 04:09am

I went to the store to buy some invisible tape, but I didn't see any.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.12.17 @ 08:08am

The gym will always be there, but the beer in the fridge won't.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.10.17 @ 10:54am

Liking your own post is like giving yourself a 'high five' in public
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 06.2.17 @ 21:35pm

Office max service center is just a library for the elderly who don't know how to send or receive emails
Posted By: Clarke - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.30.17 @ 14:25pm

Yoga: An old Hindu prank to convince grown adults to manipulate their bodies into ridiculous positions so all the non-participants can get a good chuckle.................
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 05.29.17 @ 05:58am

Police are looking for two men lost in a canoe,I thought it must be a very big canoe
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.27.17 @ 12:57pm

Got home a bit late last night & the neighbor is now up and cutting his grass... I'm not ready to get up, so he'll just have to mow around me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 05.24.17 @ 10:34am

Facebook - The only place in the world you can be Social while being Anti-Social.
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 05.21.17 @ 07:45am

Sunday is Mother's Day. Be sure you thank her for womb & board......
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 05.10.17 @ 11:15am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
A wife entered the kitchen to find her husband stalking with a fly swatter. Wife "What are you doing". Husband "Killing flies." Wife " Have you killed any?" Husband "Yep, 3 males and 2 females". Wife " How can you tell which is which?" Husband "3 was on a beer can and 2 was on the phone".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.9.17 @ 12:17pm

Fifty shades of grey review: If you take away all the naughty bits, its a story about two idiots.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 05.4.17 @ 03:44am

That moment when someones likes a very old Facebook post of yours and you're like "How dare you going through my stuff?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 05.1.17 @ 09:31am

They said "Fight fire with fire". So I took a Laxative for Diarrhea.......
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 04.29.17 @ 06:01am

"Wow, Windows Troubleshooter totally solved the problem!" said no one ever.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 04.27.17 @ 20:24pm

I wouldn't say it's easy living with erectile dysfunction. But it's not hard.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.26.17 @ 04:47am

Just washed my entire car with the squeegee at the Riverview Kangaroo gas pump. The white haired lady on the register gave me the prune face and banged on the store window the entire time. She's always been a hateful thing. Just wait till I rinse — she's going to freak!
Posted By: Mike Ward - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.24.17 @ 13:04pm

I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get…well you know…Oreos.
Posted By: Mike Ward - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.24.17 @ 13:02pm

If you stare in a mirror and say Publix three times in a row a woman in gray yoga pants will appear.
Posted By: Mike Ward - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.24.17 @ 13:02pm

The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Posted By: Mike Ward - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.24.17 @ 13:01pm

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