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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Being an adult is pretty easy when you think about it. You just feel tired all the time, tell people how tired you are and listen to them tell you how tired they are.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.9.17 @ 09:15am

My doctor asked me if i was a hard drinker? i said no, i find it very easy..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Friday, 07.7.17 @ 15:22pm

Life is like a box of chocolates... I don't have a box of chocolates either.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 06.30.17 @ 15:59pm

That awkward moment between birth and death!!
Posted By: Youss - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 06.30.17 @ 08:26am

I want a treadmill powered by Netflix account which only plays shows when I run. I'll call it SweatFlix. Somebody get on this..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 06.29.17 @ 00:45am

I want my girlfriend to look at guys the way taxi drivers look at me when I ask for a free lift
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.27.17 @ 01:09am

Marriage: She finishes my Sentences, I finish her Sandwiches..............
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.24.17 @ 14:03pm

I took acid and now I completely understand where Dr. Doolittle was coming from.
Posted By: Clarke - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.20.17 @ 15:19pm

Netflix needs a "chill" off button. They keep asking if I'm still watching. Yes Netflix! I'm home alone stop rubbing it in!
Posted By: Lisa Felix - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.20.17 @ 10:49am

Cooking too much bacon is like trying to stick your elbow in your ear... It just ain't gonna happen!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.19.17 @ 14:45pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 06.15.17 @ 00:16am

It is always a good policy to count to 10 when you are angry, but don't choke them any longer than that..................
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.13.17 @ 16:03pm

If I'm Driving You Crazy, Please Remember To Put Your Seatbelt On.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.13.17 @ 04:09am

I went to the store to buy some invisible tape, but I didn't see any.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.12.17 @ 08:08am

The gym will always be there, but the beer in the fridge won't.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.10.17 @ 10:54am

Liking your own post is like giving yourself a 'high five' in public
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 06.2.17 @ 21:35pm

Office max service center is just a library for the elderly who don't know how to send or receive emails
Posted By: Clarke - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.30.17 @ 14:25pm

Yoga: An old Hindu prank to convince grown adults to manipulate their bodies into ridiculous positions so all the non-participants can get a good chuckle.................
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 05.29.17 @ 05:58am

Police are looking for two men lost in a canoe,I thought it must be a very big canoe
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.27.17 @ 12:57pm

Got home a bit late last night & the neighbor is now up and cutting his grass... I'm not ready to get up, so he'll just have to mow around me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 05.24.17 @ 10:34am

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