Whenever there's a long pause in conversation, I just start barking. Because if there's one thing I can't stand, it's awkward silence..

If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else’s phone. Ever.

I'm glad the only relationship status change I have to make is "In An Arguement" #MarriedLife

Searched the internet all day for a picture of a politician telling the truth.

I used to be able to make ends meet. But now they just stare at each other awkwardly from across the room.

we are lucky our butt lines are made potrait.if it was side ways it would clap if we run.

I've just spoken to my friend Ongawa who lives in The Congo and he told me that they do not drink "Um Bongo" there. And they never have. So we were lied to as children.

If I "look high in any of my pictures it's probably because I am.

Don't stare at me in the hallway or I will poke you in the eye.

Im the kinda girl who uses the 5 second rule for food, Your the kinda girl to use it for men.

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site

        www.multiplechoicetrivia.com

If you pass gas that others can appreciate...Are you a fartist?

And then God created Saturn... And he liked it... So he put a ring on it.

If Newspapers let me write Headlines.................

I like potatoes

Justin beiber was arrested for using men's toilet !

If you wonder why I am the way I am, You should know I've been abducted. (and returned!)

Sorry, Don't know anything about smart phones, Only that I can't use them. I think it is the battle of the wits.

8th Dwarf added at Disneyland: "Measly"

With Aaron Rogers out of the playoffs, Hans & Franz are now free to pump up Tom Brady's deflated balls.

If man evolved from monkeys....why are there still monkeys??