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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I saw a chameleon today, obviously it's still in training.
Posted By: Just Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 02.8.15 @ 11:10am

A is for academics, B is for beer.One of those reasons is why I'm unavailable.So leave a message.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Sunday, 02.8.15 @ 05:01am

Teacher: who is your best teacher me: Google
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 02.7.15 @ 23:00pm

My girlfriend is rated E for everyone!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 02.7.15 @ 17:32pm

Like the Beatles said, "All you need is love.".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.5.15 @ 18:58pm

Dear February, I don't like you! This month my paycheck is smaller, but the rent to pay is the same! So...who should I sue for this huge injustice?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.5.15 @ 14:32pm

So you do check out my status 😂😂
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.5.15 @ 12:38pm

Valentine's Day......Blessed are those shot by Cupid's arrow, Cursed are those shot by Stupid's error
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.5.15 @ 07:24am

You gotta hand it to short people sometimes.. .cause they can't reach.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 02.4.15 @ 14:17pm

I now know why there are no beaches in the Northeast, all of the sand is on the roads.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 02.4.15 @ 09:41am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
can't see anything ~gotta go to the dentist~ to get my ears checked
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 02.4.15 @ 06:56am

when you get married, then you'll understand what happiness is. But it will be too late.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 02.4.15 @ 06:32am

Out of all natural juices, I can now afford only the gastric one...(((
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 02.4.15 @ 06:23am

after getting kicked in the sack by a female its never a good idea to say she doesn't know it but I consider that foreplay. ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 02.3.15 @ 18:11pm

I told my physical therapist today, Just for the record, I couldn't been like that before I hurt my back, what are you training me for Cirque du Soleil Las Vegas ?
Posted By: Comedian Christopher Cowles - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 02.3.15 @ 16:29pm

You may have wifi but i have chicken....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 02.3.15 @ 14:33pm

A.A. is for quitters!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 02.3.15 @ 13:59pm

"Don't be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless you're homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I don't have any."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 02.3.15 @ 12:04pm

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. 7 also got herpes from 14 and stabbed 23 through 30 in a gang fight.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 02.3.15 @ 12:02pm

People are like books. You can't judge them by appearance alone and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 02.3.15 @ 12:01pm

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