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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Whenever there's a long pause in conversation, I just start barking. Because if there's one thing I can't stand, it's awkward silence..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 21:13pm

If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else’s phone. Ever.
Posted By: Philip Okiche - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 16:57pm

I'm glad the only relationship status change I have to make is "In An Arguement" #MarriedLife
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 02:50am

Searched the internet all day for a picture of a politician telling the truth.
Posted By: StEvEr - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 02:16am

I used to be able to make ends meet. But now they just stare at each other awkwardly from across the room.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 23:44pm

we are lucky our butt lines are made potrait.if it was side ways it would clap if we run.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 18:26pm

I've just spoken to my friend Ongawa who lives in The Congo and he told me that they do not drink "Um Bongo" there. And they never have. So we were lied to as children.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 17:22pm

If I "look high in any of my pictures it's probably because I am.
Posted By: B - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 14:54pm

Don't stare at me in the hallway or I will poke you in the eye.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 12:53pm

Im the kinda girl who uses the 5 second rule for food, Your the kinda girl to use it for men.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 09:07am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
If you pass gas that others can appreciate...Are you a fartist?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 20:09pm

And then God created Saturn... And he liked it... So he put a ring on it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 19:27pm

If Newspapers let me write Headlines.................
Posted By: LC - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 19:21pm

I like potatoes
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 12:54pm

Justin beiber was arrested for using men's toilet !
Posted By: Ninja - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 16:08pm

If you wonder why I am the way I am, You should know I've been abducted. (and returned!)
Posted By: StEvEr - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 12:29pm

Sorry, Don't know anything about smart phones, Only that I can't use them. I think it is the battle of the wits.
Posted By: StEvEr - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 04:36am

8th Dwarf added at Disneyland: "Measly"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.19.15 @ 20:39pm

With Aaron Rogers out of the playoffs, Hans & Franz are now free to pump up Tom Brady's deflated balls.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.19.15 @ 20:35pm

If man evolved from monkeys....why are there still monkeys??
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.19.15 @ 03:32am

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