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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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As a young child, my parents told me I can be anyone I want to be. Apparently that's now called "Identity theft".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 01.25.15 @ 06:01am

WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers. WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop shouting.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 01.25.15 @ 00:49am

Numberetti spaghetti with hot paprika - my addition to the culinary world. Tomorrow I'm going to try to make pi.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 01.25.15 @ 00:48am

I love being in a relationship till I hear the words "the rest of our lives"...that sounds like a really LONG F-ing time
Posted By: Kash America - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 01.24.15 @ 19:28pm

I heard you're a player, well nice to meet you. I'm the coach
Posted By: Valmary J - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 01.24.15 @ 14:41pm

I always try to purchase the grocery seperator but every cashier I go to keeps putting it back.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 01.24.15 @ 13:55pm

I'm not hungover, I'm just exhausted from drinking excessively last night.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 01.24.15 @ 12:42pm

adding "asking for a friend" at the end of a stupid question to minimise collateral damage
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 01.24.15 @ 08:22am

If you hold a seashell to your ear, you can hear the sound of your nephew telling you to stop pretending the seashell's a phone and grow up.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 01.24.15 @ 00:27am

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 21:16pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Don't get your knickers in a twist... nothing is resolved and it only makes you walk funny
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 21:15pm

Whenever there's a long pause in conversation, I just start barking. Because if there's one thing I can't stand, it's awkward silence..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 21:13pm

If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else’s phone. Ever.
Posted By: Philip Okiche - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 16:57pm

I'm glad the only relationship status change I have to make is "In An Arguement" #MarriedLife
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 02:50am

Searched the internet all day for a picture of a politician telling the truth.
Posted By: StEvEr - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 02:16am

I used to be able to make ends meet. But now they just stare at each other awkwardly from across the room.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 23:44pm

we are lucky our butt lines are made potrait.if it was side ways it would clap if we run.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 18:26pm

I've just spoken to my friend Ongawa who lives in The Congo and he told me that they do not drink "Um Bongo" there. And they never have. So we were lied to as children.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 17:22pm

If I "look high in any of my pictures it's probably because I am.
Posted By: B - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 14:54pm

Don't stare at me in the hallway or I will poke you in the eye.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.22.15 @ 12:53pm

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