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I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.1.18 @ 22:38pm
Haven't you noticed that all those people in favor of abortion have already been born?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 05.1.18 @ 10:39am
I never thought I'd see the day when a porn star sues the President of the United States for defamation of character...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.30.18 @ 12:12pm
Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 04.29.18 @ 03:02am
Bored? Broke? Do you find yourself with over 35 spare hours to fill every week? Would you like to earn hundreds of dollars every month? Then get a f*cking job like the rest of us, you lazy bastards.:)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 04.29.18 @ 00:38am
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 04.21.18 @ 12:58pm
In Japan they read sentences from the right to the left. Kind of like how Americans read a menu.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 04.21.18 @ 07:58am
I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 04.20.18 @ 13:52pm
Why does my wife think that giving me the silent treatment is punishment?
Posted By: Bear - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 04.19.18 @ 19:29pm
Somewhere in Nigeria there's a prince who's depressed because nobody takes his emails seriously.
Posted By: sage - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.18.18 @ 15:25pm
Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Decaf actually works like regular coffee if you pour a piping hot cup of it onto your lap.
Posted By: sage - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 04.17.18 @ 09:13am
Male pattern baldness is God’s way of saying grown men shouldn’t have bangs.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.16.18 @ 16:10pm
Now that Mercury is out of retrograde, you can go back to blaming other things for personal difficulties in life.
Posted By: sage - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.16.18 @ 08:56am
Don't sweat the small stuff. In fact, don't sweat the big stuff either. Stop sweating on everything. That's gross.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.16.18 @ 08:13am
Never nod your head in agreement when you don't fully understand the question. That is how I got married the first time.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 04.14.18 @ 14:47pm
I always thought air was free until I bought a bag of crisps
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 04.13.18 @ 05:59am
I have a friend who just happens to also be a cannibal. He told me today that he is completely fed up with people.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 04.12.18 @ 13:10pm
safe drinking rule. "don't drink and browse"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 04.10.18 @ 10:20am
Last night I ordered my whole dinner in French. Even the waiter was impressed, because it was a Chinese restaurant.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 04.4.18 @ 05:58am
Sometimes I awaken like a matador, wondering what kinda bull I'm gonna face during the day.
Posted By: Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 04.3.18 @ 12:32pm