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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Dear Queen Elsa, CALM DOWN !!! Don't get mad...all the little kids are still watching your movie and loving you. Can you PLEASE warm us up now ICE QUEEN ??? Brrrrrrr Sincerely, ALL OF US !
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.13.14 @ 09:46am

I feel bad for kids today who want something on t.v but their parents arent 18 or older to order
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.12.14 @ 14:08pm

Sometimes after a long day at work, I just like to watch TV in my underwear. So if I ring your doorbell around 6:00pm you have been warned.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.12.14 @ 12:43pm

society treats us like cattle. They make it look nice with the brass poles and the velvet ropes. But it's still a coral for makin' you mooooooove!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.12.14 @ 06:53am

no one is older than his father
Posted By: Alaro - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.11.14 @ 07:15am

I throught it was cool and LIKED the picture of her vacationing on a warn and sunny beach .....Until the thousandth notification update on my phone from desperate guys with no wit commenting how sexy she looks :/
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.10.14 @ 20:19pm

Getting older really sucks. I'm the woman who thought middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.10.14 @ 09:21am

myspacebarseemstobeactingup.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.10.14 @ 04:05am

If I ever need a brain transplant I'd pick "person's name" brain cause i want one thats never been used
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 17:30pm

If you're happy and you know it like this post! If you're happy and you know it like this post! If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, If you're happy and you know it like this post! And if your not happy by now, Go back and sing it again!!....
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 16:24pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
I was driving down the road this morning and swerved to avoid a banana peel. Than you Mario Kart!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 09:51am

the post man is hot.... i post blank paper to my own address ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 08:22am

Shout out to Wal-mart motion censored sinks I waved my hand 15 times before water comes out the faucet , then it only lasted 5 seconds . Here I am waving again
Posted By: Jessica - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.7.14 @ 09:01am

My Mother said never talk to bad boys that's why i don't talk to my self anymore.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 15:45pm

You know you getting old, when people start complementing you on how young you are..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 11:35am

watching dawn of the planet of Apes, does anyone here speak Ape i need a translator, And where is Tazan not in this movie?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 08:03am

When the shoe salesman offered me velcro shoe's I said, "Sure why knot?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 17:21pm

l always like to sleep.coz i can find u only in my dreams...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 17:19pm

buy me rounds all night,then my eyes will tell you how much I like you
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 16:08pm

It's nearly a week after Halloween, so it's time to change your profile picture back to before you were a slut.Oh, nevermind.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 10:12am

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