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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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the post man is hot.... i post blank paper to my own address ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 08:22am

Shout out to Wal-mart motion censored sinks I waved my hand 15 times before water comes out the faucet , then it only lasted 5 seconds . Here I am waving again
Posted By: Jessica - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.7.14 @ 09:01am

My Mother said never talk to bad boys that's why i don't talk to my self anymore.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 15:45pm

You know you getting old, when people start complementing you on how young you are..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 11:35am

watching dawn of the planet of Apes, does anyone here speak Ape i need a translator, And where is Tazan not in this movie?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 08:03am

When the shoe salesman offered me velcro shoe's I said, "Sure why knot?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 17:21pm

l always like to sleep.coz i can find u only in my dreams...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 17:19pm

buy me rounds all night,then my eyes will tell you how much I like you
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 16:08pm

It's nearly a week after Halloween, so it's time to change your profile picture back to before you were a slut.Oh, nevermind.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 10:12am

The only thing I hate about beer is that there's absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.4.14 @ 18:00pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Work is the scourge of the drinking man.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 11.4.14 @ 05:50am

You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.4.14 @ 04:30am

Big Ben said to the tower o Pisa, "If you've got the inclination, I've the time.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:56pm

Before I knew it, my smart phone had power of attorney.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:50pm

It took me a long time before I became a good procrastinator.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:43pm

I sit on all the painting that I paint. I'm an impressionest.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:41pm

Every time I try to kick my bad habit, it turns out that they have shin guards.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:37pm

My wife isn't just a dish, she's a whole set of china.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:34pm

Dear math, stop asking me to find your x, she's not coming back.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:32pm

I once lived a secret life as a mime, but now I can talk about it.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:31pm

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