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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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It should be illegal to play Christmas music before December... It's still a week away from December and I'm already sick of it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.23.14 @ 02:32am

I might be fat but you should see how fast my bum moves
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.20.14 @ 23:05pm

Somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering why no one is replying to his emails.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.20.14 @ 17:14pm

My time card says I work from 6 am to 3pm, but really , I show up at 6:00 then I start work from 2pm to 3 pm.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.20.14 @ 09:01am

my dear don't fear i am hear.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.20.14 @ 00:53am

Can they make the brown Liquor Store bags any noisier for f**k sakes! I'm trying to sneak liquor into the house, not celebrate Canada Day....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.19.14 @ 18:09pm

I talk to myself all the time but there seem to be more than one voice responding, so we laugh out loud cause that's just cray
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.18.14 @ 13:54pm

After watching multiple episodes and seasons of "Judge Judy", apparently a slightly balding, overweight, unemployed, middle-aged man is irresistible to some women....
Posted By: dave - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.18.14 @ 12:34pm

My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.18.14 @ 11:34am

The awkward moment when you see someone so flame from far away, but up close you just shake your head.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.17.14 @ 21:26pm

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If we are all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.17.14 @ 12:03pm

So wait, "No Shave November" is NOT for women and I could have been shaving all this time? #Sasquatchsighting
Posted By: RB - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.17.14 @ 09:53am

That moment when you are at the office and you realize Damn i never saved the princess on super mario
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.17.14 @ 02:46am

In case I am running, you run too 'coz there is definitely a tornado or probably a bull behind.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.16.14 @ 01:56am

at my funeral I want an auctioneer to read my eulogy.
Posted By: Evilbirdbath - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.16.14 @ 01:31am

Delete cookies? Why on earth would I want to do that? I love cookies!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.15.14 @ 12:31pm

Yo mama is so fat , that when she sat on a rainbow she made skittles
Posted By: Guest - Category: Funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.15.14 @ 10:41am

Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge. I AM POWER. I AM RESILIENCE. I AM A BRA STRAP.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.15.14 @ 10:03am

I'm a optimistic pessimist. That means I know bad things are going to happen,
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.15.14 @ 07:22am

the brain is gone . I can now see clearly
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.14.14 @ 22:42pm

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