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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I know that there is an urban legend museum around here somewhere, but I've never seen it.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 18:28pm

My teacher told me that there was no such thing as a stupid question, but I didn't know what that meant.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 18:27pm

I just signed in at the bank as Dixie Normous and left.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 15:56pm

If we evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 14:25pm

Honestly, if I can't have a cup of coffee, I should just go back to bed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.26.14 @ 17:51pm

hey mom, please stop telling me how to raise my kids im still trying to raise yours.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.26.14 @ 15:32pm

if she's familiar with more DJs than pastors, be very worried
Posted By: lennox - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.25.14 @ 12:04pm

Too much s*** and not a big enough fan.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.25.14 @ 06:48am

I wonder if all the lobsters in the galley thought it was a Godsend when the Titanic went down.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.25.14 @ 04:58am

nothing is impossible...sh!t..squeeze out toothpaste and put it back
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 20:36pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
I wonder if Sherlock Holmes itemized his deductions?
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 19:11pm

Civil disobedience dates back to the middle ages, so resistance if feudal.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 19:08pm

The judge not only had a strict definition of "justice," and he knows how to use it in a sentence.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 19:04pm

I was told that my fatal flaw was hubris, but I'm sure that it has to be something better than that.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 19:02pm

It's ironi, I can't afford my gym membership anymore because I need to tighten my belt.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 19:00pm

I went to the "Friendly Loan Company." They told me that they were in fact friendly, but not promiscuous.
Posted By: gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 18:58pm

I accept that we only go around once in life, but what I hate is the centrifugal force.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 18:57pm

The problem with political parties is that each are only conerned by their base, when they should be concerned about home plate.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 18:55pm

if you want to make your kids laugh...go home
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 11:23am

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