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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I think public restrooms should be fully enclosed with soundproof walls and a massive powered exhaust fan....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 10:56am

When I die, I want to be cremated and put inside an Etch-a-Sketch.
Posted By: Evil_Birdbath - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 02:11am

After we broke up instead of saying; he is so hot I started saying; his face is uglier than a monkeys ass, so it would help me feel better
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.1.14 @ 11:26am

It takes a 1/4 mile run to burn off the calories of a Halloween "fun size" candy bar. Tomorrow I'll have to run an extra mile. After I finish both marathons.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 21:13pm

practice shuttin-up!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 14:38pm

Some people claim that the camera will add ten pounds. I can't imagine that. I mean after all, who would eat a camera?
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 05:04am

My paper towells refused to clean up any of my messes. It was the mutiny of the Bounty.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 05:02am

I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 04:57am

Madonna impersonators sing like a version.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 04:53am

They say that Superman can jump higher than tall buildings. Well, duh. Everyone knows that buildings can't jump.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 04:47am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
If you google BJ's wholesale club and you'r wife's name pops up, it's time to move on...
Posted By: John h - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.30.14 @ 22:30pm

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll find some other idiot.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.30.14 @ 13:32pm

Religious people be like, "he got 66 likes and 6 comments, he must be working for the Devil".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 10.30.14 @ 11:16am

When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, "I have now."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.29.14 @ 06:26am

I get a kick out of "The People You May Know" post on here.. No, I do not want to be friends with your friend's mother's cousin's sister's, husband's uncle's friend who's related to your aunt, and happened to pee in your toilet once!
Posted By: Tommy L. - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.28.14 @ 21:47pm

I accidentally crashed a wedding reception this afternoon. I could've left discretely, but..well...you know...free cake...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.28.14 @ 14:54pm

If I were a judge and I would sentence all mimes to spend a day in a real glass box in the middle of town and tell them they can go home as soon as they figure out how to escape.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 21:15pm

Do you think that when fire was invented, it accelerated global warming and brought abount an end to the ice age?
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 18:40pm

Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained to imcompetence.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 18:38pm

I'm getting zero percent on my savings account. I've finally reached the point of no return.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 18:29pm

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