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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Justin beiber was arrested for using men's toilet !
Posted By: Ninja - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 16:08pm

If you wonder why I am the way I am, You should know I've been abducted. (and returned!)
Posted By: StEvEr - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 12:29pm

Sorry, Don't know anything about smart phones, Only that I can't use them. I think it is the battle of the wits.
Posted By: StEvEr - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 04:36am

8th Dwarf added at Disneyland: "Measly"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.19.15 @ 20:39pm

With Aaron Rogers out of the playoffs, Hans & Franz are now free to pump up Tom Brady's deflated balls.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.19.15 @ 20:35pm

If man evolved from monkeys....why are there still monkeys??
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.19.15 @ 03:32am

Not many people know that Albert Einstein had a brother who was an evil scientist. His name was Frank Einstein.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.19.15 @ 00:38am

No good ever came out of a sentence that starts with, "No offense but . . . "
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 01.18.15 @ 18:05pm

I'm so old, I'm Olde
Posted By: Marvin - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 01.18.15 @ 11:58am

Ralationship status : i make my own toast
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 01.18.15 @ 10:40am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
That moment when you hear knocking on the door on a T.V. show your not paying attention to and you yell come in
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.16.15 @ 10:11am

We Canadians just booted 'Target' out of Canada. Nickleback & Bieber, you're next.
Posted By: Tim Trainor - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.15.15 @ 21:07pm

Could someone please take Miley Cyrus out like a wrecking ball??????? Geesssshhhh.............
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.15.15 @ 06:10am

My fortune cookie today states "You like participating in competitive sports". Is sarcasm considered a competitive sport? If so, I'm ready to go pro
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.14.15 @ 10:40am

Starting a sentence with "No offense, but . . . " Has little chance of not offending the person.
Posted By: Jethro - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.14.15 @ 08:01am

Someone's therapist know all about you
Posted By: Kyla - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.14.15 @ 04:04am

When You See A Spider And It Disappears. . Then You Literally Become A Victim In Your Own Room
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.13.15 @ 12:27pm

My daughter sent me a text message asking me to buy her a replacement guitar string. But my heart stopped for a moment when my iPhone previewed the message with, "Daddy, can you buy me a G String..."
Posted By: The Gregarious B.O.B. - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.13.15 @ 05:27am

The best thing about reconnecting with old girlfriends on Facebook is realizing what a bullet I dodged with some of the really stupid ones...
Posted By: The Gregarious B.O.B. - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.12.15 @ 13:35pm

NEVER go on FB with 1/2 hour of sleep...I proposed to 6 people ( 3 were girls)....told 5 people they were UGLY ....and I think I bought a condo in Kalamazoo Michigan...WHAT a night....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 01.12.15 @ 13:25pm

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