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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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If we are all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.17.14 @ 12:03pm

So wait, "No Shave November" is NOT for women and I could have been shaving all this time? #Sasquatchsighting
Posted By: RB - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.17.14 @ 09:53am

That moment when you are at the office and you realize Damn i never saved the princess on super mario
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.17.14 @ 02:46am

In case I am running, you run too 'coz there is definitely a tornado or probably a bull behind.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.16.14 @ 01:56am

at my funeral I want an auctioneer to read my eulogy.
Posted By: Evilbirdbath - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.16.14 @ 01:31am

Delete cookies? Why on earth would I want to do that? I love cookies!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.15.14 @ 12:31pm

Yo mama is so fat , that when she sat on a rainbow she made skittles
Posted By: Guest - Category: Funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.15.14 @ 10:41am

Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge. I AM POWER. I AM RESILIENCE. I AM A BRA STRAP.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.15.14 @ 10:03am

I'm a optimistic pessimist. That means I know bad things are going to happen,
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.15.14 @ 07:22am

the brain is gone . I can now see clearly
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.14.14 @ 22:42pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
My last status got no likes so now I have to start picturing all of you in your underwear again. I hope you're happy.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.13.14 @ 23:23pm

you need zero capital to mind your own biznnes ..... so start
Posted By: purity Lol - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.13.14 @ 13:39pm

Dear Queen Elsa, CALM DOWN !!! Don't get mad...all the little kids are still watching your movie and loving you. Can you PLEASE warm us up now ICE QUEEN ??? Brrrrrrr Sincerely, ALL OF US !
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.13.14 @ 09:46am

I feel bad for kids today who want something on t.v but their parents arent 18 or older to order
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.12.14 @ 14:08pm

Sometimes after a long day at work, I just like to watch TV in my underwear. So if I ring your doorbell around 6:00pm you have been warned.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.12.14 @ 12:43pm

society treats us like cattle. They make it look nice with the brass poles and the velvet ropes. But it's still a coral for makin' you mooooooove!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.12.14 @ 06:53am

no one is older than his father
Posted By: Alaro - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.11.14 @ 07:15am

I throught it was cool and LIKED the picture of her vacationing on a warn and sunny beach .....Until the thousandth notification update on my phone from desperate guys with no wit commenting how sexy she looks :/
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.10.14 @ 20:19pm

Getting older really sucks. I'm the woman who thought middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.10.14 @ 09:21am

myspacebarseemstobeactingup.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.10.14 @ 04:05am

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