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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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it's over....I will miss you dearly, I enjoyed every day we had. I knew it wouldn't last and I tried not to think of you leaving. But last night when I crawled into bed and had to face the cold feeling I knew our time has ended.....so long summer - hello winter blankets
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.26.16 @ 07:34am

Life is like trying to get the brownie out of a TV dinner in one piece...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.21.16 @ 09:00am

it's really funny how they say that music reaches the heart and soul... but they didn't say it reached the brain.
Posted By: YonakaHouseki - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.20.16 @ 18:54pm

Facebook understands that some human beings are like chemicals, they must react
Posted By: Nalis - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.20.16 @ 14:53pm

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. (Jim Carrey) #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.20.16 @ 07:56am

Iím sure a lot of people feel stupid for cashing in their retirement account early, especially when it is at the Coinstar machine... #thedailyjeff (More at thedailyjeff.net)
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.19.16 @ 06:49am

People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous. #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.16.16 @ 09:19am

I wonder how many of those drug-sniffing dogs have to go to rehab. (an.) #thedailyjeff (more at thedailyjeff.net)
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.15.16 @ 07:41am

I don't know About You, But My Favorite Machine At The Gym is the Vending Machine!
Posted By: Squirrel Nutz - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.14.16 @ 14:27pm

Just Posting this to see if its this easy lol
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.14.16 @ 12:56pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Saw deodorant at the store that said ďDermatologist tested.Ē Iím thinking great, at least they are no longer testing on rabbits anymore. #thedailyjeff (More at thedailyjeff.net)
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.13.16 @ 07:17am

Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions? #thedailyjeff (more at thedailyjeff.net)
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 09.12.16 @ 09:11am

Why aren't boner pills called "Addcock?" #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.7.16 @ 09:44am

Dolly Parton was arrested for drug possession today. Police said it was the bigest bust they've seen in years...
Posted By: Brian Smith - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.3.16 @ 17:46pm

You should really think about getting a new Dr when you are sitting in the waiting room and look over and see a dead plant.
Posted By: coolguy bearup - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.16 @ 12:15pm

People who say a women is the weaker sex has never tried to get the covers back off her in the middle of the night!
Posted By: coolguy bearup - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.2.16 @ 12:09pm

Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the battery is dead?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.1.16 @ 16:28pm

I've gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing... (An.) #thedailyjeff (More at thedailyjeff.net)
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.1.16 @ 12:17pm

Apparently, it is insensitive to walk into a nursing home dressed as the Grim Reaper......................
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.31.16 @ 15:50pm

Iíll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities. (Robert Zunick) #thedailyjeff (More at thedailyjeff.net)
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.30.16 @ 08:32am

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