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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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If I ever need a brain transplant I'd pick "person's name" brain cause i want one thats never been used
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 17:30pm

If you're happy and you know it like this post! If you're happy and you know it like this post! If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, If you're happy and you know it like this post! And if your not happy by now, Go back and sing it again!!....
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 16:24pm

I was driving down the road this morning and swerved to avoid a banana peel. Than you Mario Kart!!!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 09:51am

the post man is hot.... i post blank paper to my own address ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.9.14 @ 08:22am

Shout out to Wal-mart motion censored sinks I waved my hand 15 times before water comes out the faucet , then it only lasted 5 seconds . Here I am waving again
Posted By: Jessica - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 11.7.14 @ 09:01am

My Mother said never talk to bad boys that's why i don't talk to my self anymore.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 15:45pm

You know you getting old, when people start complementing you on how young you are..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 11:35am

watching dawn of the planet of Apes, does anyone here speak Ape i need a translator, And where is Tazan not in this movie?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.6.14 @ 08:03am

When the shoe salesman offered me velcro shoe's I said, "Sure why knot?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 17:21pm

l always like to sleep.coz i can find u only in my dreams...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 17:19pm

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
buy me rounds all night,then my eyes will tell you how much I like you
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 16:08pm

It's nearly a week after Halloween, so it's time to change your profile picture back to before you were a slut.Oh, nevermind.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.5.14 @ 10:12am

The only thing I hate about beer is that there's absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.4.14 @ 18:00pm

Work is the scourge of the drinking man.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 11.4.14 @ 05:50am

You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.4.14 @ 04:30am

Big Ben said to the tower o Pisa, "If you've got the inclination, I've the time.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:56pm

Before I knew it, my smart phone had power of attorney.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:50pm

It took me a long time before I became a good procrastinator.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:43pm

I sit on all the painting that I paint. I'm an impressionest.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:41pm

Every time I try to kick my bad habit, it turns out that they have shin guards.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.2.14 @ 15:37pm

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