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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I think all those copy and paste this statuses you see people posting to see if their friends are paying attention to them is a sign that its time to go to the pound and get a puppy who will give them all the love and attention they need!......Copy and paste this status if you agree.
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.24.17 @ 12:05pm

Some people are like a newspaper, everyday they have a new issue.
Posted By: Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.19.17 @ 08:39am

I almost had a threesome lastnight. I only need two more people.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.12.17 @ 02:01am

How do you make Holy Water? Boil the Hell out of it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 01.12.17 @ 01:59am

It's been a rough day... I put a shirt on and a button fell off. Picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. Picked up a book and the cover ripped off... I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 01.7.17 @ 03:08am

I'm going to make a chicken salad...........and then I'll probably make me one too.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 01.6.17 @ 08:13am

I remember 2016 like it was yesterday.
Posted By: Bear - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 12.31.16 @ 22:01pm

God, i haven't been on facebook since last year.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 12.31.16 @ 16:40pm

My wife just informed me that we have been out of toothpaste for two days, now I am wondering what the heck I thought was toothpaste for the last 48 hours......................
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.21.16 @ 15:40pm

I'm so broke I can't pay attention.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 12.11.16 @ 07:34am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
"Oh wow, it's a fruitcake! I'm going to eat it right now" said no one ever.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.9.16 @ 14:33pm

It's a good thing I'm not in charge of a vote #recount . I'd charge five million bucks, wait a week, and say "We're done. It's the same as the first time."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 12.9.16 @ 14:32pm

Relatable Food Moment: This taste terrible!!. . . . continues eating
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 12.7.16 @ 17:14pm

Why are there more horses' asses than there are horses?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 12.6.16 @ 18:40pm

It's a good thing this video game is rated mature because it's going to be babysitting the kids tonight
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 12.4.16 @ 09:02am

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm skitsofrenic and so am I.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 12.3.16 @ 12:45pm

...just heard that Tampax is replacing the strings with tinsel this month. ...Ladies, get them soon, supplies only last for the Christmas period!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 12.3.16 @ 10:41am

A man is usually at his sexual peak, when his neighbor's bathroom window is open.
Posted By: Clarke - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.28.16 @ 16:47pm

A journey of a thousand miles..............., begins with a couple of felonies and being featured on America's Most Wanted
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.19.16 @ 11:01am

When I was a kid I wanted to be Super Man, now I just want to be "Supper Man"...................
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.19.16 @ 11:00am

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