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I’ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities. (Robert Zunick) #thedailyjeff (More at thedailyjeff.net)
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.30.16 @ 08:32am
I hate how chocolate immediatly melt on my fingers... I mean, Am i that hot?
Posted By: Young boy - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.29.16 @ 12:31pm
If you're buying Smart Water for $4 a bottle...I'm sorry to tell you this but it's not working. #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.24.16 @ 07:31am
A Mexican magician counted, uno, dos, and then vanished without a tres.
Posted By: Gregg - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.20.16 @ 13:46pm
Has anybody ever come home from Disney World smelling like Pooh?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status question saying on Thursday, 08.18.16 @ 18:06pm
A friend of mine told me he got a new Thesaurus….Man, I wish I had a dinosaur too! #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.18.16 @ 10:15am
I sent a text to a friend of mine whose aunt had a heart attack. It was supposed to say, “How’s your aunt doing?” Somehow I hit the C instead of A. Truly awkward. #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.18.16 @ 10:08am
Facebook is starting to be like my fridge, I know nothing is there but I keep checking it anyway...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.18.16 @ 05:42am
What is your favorite childhood memory? Mine is not paying bills. #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.11.16 @ 07:51am
4 things you need to give your cat a bath...... (1) A cat of course. (2) A tub. (3) Water. (4) Band-Aids, lots of Band-Aids................
Posted By: dave - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.9.16 @ 02:15am
Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
My wife told me that I am "Childish and need to grow up", all that coming from someone who has girl germs and cooties..........
Posted By: dave - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.8.16 @ 19:08pm
This is the worst dating website ever!
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.4.16 @ 01:18am
I was never one to always do what I am told. It paid off for me today when I was walking down a hallway and saw a sign that read "Wet Floor"............................
Posted By: dave - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.2.16 @ 16:49pm
I don’t care what people think of me…at least mosquitoes find me really attractive. #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.2.16 @ 08:39am
I was going to buy a copy of 'The Power of Positive Thinking', and then I thought, what good would that do? #thedailyjeff
Posted By: #thedailyjeff - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.2.16 @ 08:14am
No matter how lost and misguided you may feel, just remember, there are still people wandering around out on the streets looking for pokemon
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.1.16 @ 11:50am
Never trust the voices in your head that question your sanity................
Posted By: dave - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.31.16 @ 14:43pm
I don't remember the last time I forgot something :D :P
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.31.16 @ 11:21am
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and Marine World will have security escort you off the property.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 07.27.16 @ 19:45pm
This morning I accidentally drank two energy drinks .Now My house is decorated for Christmas.
Posted By: Vaterpop - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.24.16 @ 16:50pm