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Do you think when Santa feels a little naughty he goes to the strip club for milfs and cookies?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.15.17 @ 20:28pm
That moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
Posted By: Karo - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 08.14.17 @ 15:28pm
There's no way EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting. You know there was at least one guy hiding in a corner thinking "Man, I don't want none of this."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.12.17 @ 15:29pm
I followed a car driving so slow today the driver could have been cited for loitering.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.11.17 @ 20:43pm
MScientists are now saying vegetarians are more likely to develop depression opposed to conventional eaters. Well DUH. If everyone around me was eating bacon and I couldn't, I would be depressed too.
Posted By: Jokersonfire - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.11.17 @ 11:42am
My credit is so bad the bank wouldn't even loan me a pen to sign my check.
Posted By: sage - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.9.17 @ 18:32pm
When you like your own FB statue to show others that it was a good post.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.9.17 @ 12:12pm
My sex life have become so non-existent that I welcome sexual harrasent between 9am-5pm during business hours
Posted By: Clarke - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 08.8.17 @ 08:34am
Apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn't the best response... Who knew??
Posted By: DJ Mikey - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 08.6.17 @ 10:30am
I'd share a joke about affordable healthcare but not everyone will get it.
Posted By: Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 08.5.17 @ 08:08am
Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
My business is not your business. So unless your my thong, don't be up my ass.
Posted By: Jaclyn marie - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 08.4.17 @ 12:09pm
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.3.17 @ 23:53pm
I went to the doctor to get my yearly exam today. The doctor told me I was going to have to quit masturbating. Not understanding the harm and in total disbelief I asked my doctor why. He yelled at me "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 07.31.17 @ 18:57pm
Men are like linoleum, if you lay them right you can walk on them for 30 years.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.29.17 @ 11:44am
Feeling ripped off !!! I just sat down to have some breakfast and realize ALL my Alphabits are "O"s .......... OOPS , never mind I grabbed the Cheerios by mistake .
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.29.17 @ 08:58am
Was out drinking today then I took the bus home. Might not seem like a big deal to you but I never drivin a bus before!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.29.17 @ 00:55am
My parents are always bragging about how the things they did in their life were so perfect, yet here i am
Posted By: WhiteCitrine - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 07.28.17 @ 20:54pm
I went vegan for two hours today. Then I had a steak after my two hour nap.
Posted By: Clarke - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.25.17 @ 21:27pm
so I asked this frenchman if he liked video games; he said "wii"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 07.25.17 @ 07:26am
I went to Disneyland but I don't remember it. I think somebody slipped me a Mickey at the snack bar.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 07.22.17 @ 08:35am