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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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A lie is a good story ruined by truth
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 03.21.16 @ 20:37pm

Here's my birth story, 👨 👩 👫💑💍👰🏡👉👌👉👌💏💏 9months later...📞🏃🏡🚙🏥😁😩😓😫😓😫😓😫😡😓😩😫😡😓😫😓😫😖😖😖😤👶😱😅😅🚙🏡 Whats yours?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 03.18.16 @ 15:58pm

My dentist said "I needed a crown." I was like "I know, 👑 right!"
Posted By: "T :)" - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 03.16.16 @ 03:17am

Ever noticed how the motto "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" rarely applies to statuses on Facebook.
Posted By: Just Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 03.13.16 @ 00:32am

the worst part of the robot uprising will be the constant software updates
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 03.11.16 @ 13:14pm

whatever doesn't kill me had better run like hell
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 03.8.16 @ 00:46am

to busy to update my status
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 03.4.16 @ 06:00am

Sometimes hot dogs want to be called beautiful dogs once in a while.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 03.4.16 @ 04:57am

They say, make all the wishes I want.. But I still haven't successfully wished anyone away into that cornfield..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 03.2.16 @ 16:15pm

I just found out how the Magic 8 Ball works. Wow, what a letdown.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 03.2.16 @ 09:26am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
if you claim that you are cooler than me,does that makes me hotter than you?
Posted By: lehlahile - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 02.29.16 @ 06:43am

If Snickers doesn't have one of those " you get angry when you're hungry" commercials in the works using all of the Presidential hopefuls arguing they are missing a golden opportunity.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 02.27.16 @ 11:22am

Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes ..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.25.16 @ 09:47am

I just thanked someone and they said, "No problemo." I wish I knew Spanish so I knew what he meant by that.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 02.24.16 @ 15:55pm

If you hold down the "like" button, you can now leave different kinds of reactions and create so much more drama in peoples lives who take facebook to seriously :P
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 02.24.16 @ 12:46pm

Everybody always asked the wrong question "Where's Waldo?" the real question is Why is Waldo hiding? was it for Child Support? Kidnapping? Murder?
Posted By: Goodhour - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 02.23.16 @ 21:14pm

If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I'd never be bored again.
Posted By: AJ - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.18.16 @ 05:59am

The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl's purse is when it doesn't match what I'm wearing.
Posted By: AJ - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.18.16 @ 05:58am

If you're confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
Posted By: AJ - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.18.16 @ 05:57am

I dont know why Facebook gives me the option of liking my own status update. Of course I like my updates, I'm awesome!
Posted By: Takhona Michelle Dlamini - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 02.18.16 @ 04:45am

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