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You follow instructions very well... are you married?
Posted By: Feller - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.28.17 @ 18:28pm
If You Say You’Re Cooler Than Me….Does That Make Me Hotter Than You ?
Posted By: XxN1GG3RxX - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.23.17 @ 10:23am
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
Posted By: Moon - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.21.17 @ 20:59pm
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 11.20.17 @ 06:39am
You know it was a rough night when your IPhone doesn't recognize you in the morning.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 11.19.17 @ 08:12am
a lady asked me if i was an alcoholic ,i retorted wine-o
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.14.17 @ 18:48pm
If I ever post something that sickens you, please let me know before it goes viral.
Posted By: sage - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.14.17 @ 12:28pm
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 11.11.17 @ 18:11pm
You know the road is in bad shape when you drive to the grocery store and your fitbit registers 1,000 steps.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.8.17 @ 16:29pm
I'm not saying I'm a thug, but I spent the first two years of my life behind bars.
Posted By: Kama - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 11.7.17 @ 20:58pm
Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Will you marry me = a marriage proposal. Will, you, Mary, me? = A foursome inquiry
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 11.2.17 @ 23:51pm
Be yourself... Everyone else is already taken
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 11.1.17 @ 22:46pm
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Posted By: Bear - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.31.17 @ 18:46pm
How hard would it have been for one of the counselors to say, "Hey, somebody should check up on that Voorhees kid."
Posted By: Bear - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 10.29.17 @ 09:27am
A blind guy walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair....
Posted By: Brianlion - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 10.28.17 @ 08:55am
My girlfriend just walked in and called me gay... If my nails weren't drying right now I swear to God..
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 10.25.17 @ 05:49am
Hating people takes too much energy . I just pretend they're dead .
Posted By: Guest Zahra Jamil - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.17.17 @ 12:49pm
Hell hath no fury like a woman mad for no particular reason.
Posted By: Guest-Zahra Jamil - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.17.17 @ 12:31pm
I hope my friends who have profile pictures as cars are Autobots and not Decepticons!
Posted By: Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.10.17 @ 21:51pm
Darn autocorrect. Now the wife thinks I'm going fisting with the guys this weekend
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 10.10.17 @ 11:44am