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Hangovers are nature's way of grounding you as an adult.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:13pm

"I'll drink to that." -me to my next drink
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:11pm

I'm celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 12.18.14 @ 11:08am

A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?', so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 12.18.14 @ 11:06am

I'm just doing what the beer tells me to.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 12.16.14 @ 11:16am

The older I get, the more I understand someone's desire to just say-"F*ck it. I'm going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 12.15.14 @ 11:28am

I simply havenít seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 12.12.14 @ 12:37pm

In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 12.12.14 @ 12:35pm

Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 12.11.14 @ 11:22am

Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.10.14 @ 11:18am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Apparently I'm the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.10.14 @ 11:16am

Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 12.8.14 @ 11:23am

At long last, I've finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 12.6.14 @ 11:24am

Oh the weather outside is frightful, And this booze is damn delightful
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 12.6.14 @ 11:23am

You know you're an alcoholic when the only Holiday cards that you get are from your neighborhood pubs.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 12.4.14 @ 10:39am

Alcohol is like laxatives for constipated thoughts. The more you drink, the more sh!t that comes out your mouth.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 12.4.14 @ 10:38am

"I wasn't that drunk!" Dude, you ran into my house, crying and screaming "HELP! THE MOON IS FOLLOWING ME!"
Category: Drinking statuses on Friday, 11.28.14 @ 03:04am

Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 11.24.14 @ 12:00pm

My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 11.18.14 @ 11:35am

Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 11.18.14 @ 11:32am

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