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I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 06.14.15 @ 14:54pm

I'm sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don't really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 06.6.15 @ 13:10pm

The problem with drinking with people from work is they're the ones I bitch about when I'm drunk.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 06.1.15 @ 03:37am

I'm pretty sober, but I'm prettier drunk.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.26.15 @ 19:23pm

Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.26.15 @ 19:21pm

You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 05.21.15 @ 16:54pm

I always scratch off the "Plus One" option on wedding invitations are replace it with "Drinking for two"
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 05.21.15 @ 16:53pm

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.12.15 @ 16:34pm

If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.12.15 @ 16:34pm

drink beer 🍺 save water
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 05.8.15 @ 03:35am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
"You drive me to drink!!!" ~Me shouting to the taxi driver.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 05.7.15 @ 17:02pm

You know youíre getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 05.3.15 @ 10:45am

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, youíre drunk. Ducks donít talk.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 05.3.15 @ 10:44am

Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth ... and drink all the vodka inside ... It seems to help
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 04.24.15 @ 16:47pm

Nice try salad bars, there's only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 04.13.15 @ 16:51pm

My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 04.9.15 @ 16:15pm

I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 03.25.15 @ 17:47pm

I donít drink water, unless itís been through a brewery first.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 03.22.15 @ 09:54am

You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 03.22.15 @ 09:54am

What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 03.22.15 @ 09:54am

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