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Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 07.20.14 @ 10:42am

Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 07.20.14 @ 10:42am

When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 07.17.14 @ 11:05am

The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 07.16.14 @ 10:23am

If you can't handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 07.12.14 @ 09:43am

Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 07.12.14 @ 09:43am

I wish hangovers and orgasms could swap durations.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 07.12.14 @ 09:41am

If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I'm bringin' home the Gold! USA! USA!
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 07.11.14 @ 19:13pm

Never send in a beer to do the work of a tequila shot.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 07.11.14 @ 10:54am

What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 07.11.14 @ 10:53am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting sh!tfaced.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 07.10.14 @ 09:26am

You guys are even more beautiful now that I'm wearing my "wine glasses".
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 07.10.14 @ 09:24am

“Should I add more liquor?” is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 07.4.14 @ 11:29am

If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I'd probably choose vodka.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 07.4.14 @ 11:27am

I don’t drink to forget about problems. I drink to create new problems that that make the old issues irrelevant.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 07.2.14 @ 10:19am

This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 07.2.14 @ 10:19am

Never take advice from me, you'll only end up drunk......
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 06.28.14 @ 10:06am

Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma'am? Me: No, I'm just dizzy b/c I'm having a heavy flow day. It's really clotty and... Cop: You're free to go.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 06.27.14 @ 10:12am

I love giving orders. My favorite is "Another one. And make it a double."
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 06.25.14 @ 10:09am

Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What've you got?
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 06.25.14 @ 10:09am

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