My ice bucket challenge: 1. Buy bucket 2. Add ice 3. Add 12 beers 4. Sign into FB and drink

You know you're getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.

Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!

"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers

And for my next magic trick, I'll walk down a street and turn into a bar.

Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved

Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.

I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you

Don't you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"

Girls who don't get naked when you're drunk.. Explain yourselves.

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site

        www.multiplechoicetrivia.com

I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.

I think I'm gonna shave my legs so that there's less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.

Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby.

Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.

If there's a bar where everybody knows your name, you're probably an alcoholic.

Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.

Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius.

I like how adding a little OJ to a glass of champagne says “I’m classy” instead of “It’s nine in the morning and I have a drinking problem.”

Some days you just can't get home to your liquor fast enough

I'm only gonna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone.