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Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 05.31.14 @ 09:56am

My RSVP : I'll be attending your wedding alone but consuming enough cake and alcohol for at least two.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 05.31.14 @ 09:55am

Ever drink so much your wife makes sense? Me neither...But I keep trying
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 05.31.14 @ 09:54am

If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I'm about as self-helpful as they come.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 05.30.14 @ 11:42am

Some call it alcoholism, I call it "keeping my emotions hydrated"
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 05.29.14 @ 10:36am

Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 05.29.14 @ 10:35am

Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.27.14 @ 10:14am

There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 05.26.14 @ 07:14am

I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 05.26.14 @ 07:08am

Letís just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 05.22.14 @ 09:44am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree ... I think I found my spirit animal.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 05.19.14 @ 09:08am

Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 05.17.14 @ 22:08pm

This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 05.17.14 @ 21:27pm

Ladies and Gentleman, I've traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There's never enough beer.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 05.17.14 @ 21:12pm

You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 05.15.14 @ 10:07am

I don't know exactly who's health I'm drinking to, but they're going to be immortal at this rate
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.13.14 @ 10:06am

ooooh boy, Mother's Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 05.12.14 @ 09:33am

Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 05.11.14 @ 10:07am

I've been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 05.11.14 @ 10:05am

You say hangover. I say out of booze.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:36am

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