Drinking Statuses

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My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.

vote + : 69 vote - : 51

Category: funny Drinking status update on Monday, 12.26.16 @ 12:20pm

I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established.

vote + : 48 vote - : 61

Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 10.30.16 @ 12:07pm

I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question

vote + : 128 vote - : 117

Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 08.7.16 @ 10:36am

Being clean and sober means i’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.

vote + : 118 vote - : 87

Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 06.20.16 @ 08:29am

At my age I can no longer function without my glasses. Especially when they're empty.

vote + : 243 vote - : 183

Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.16 @ 17:53pm

First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.

vote + : 134 vote - : 76

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 04.6.16 @ 15:12pm

You really understand how drunk you are when you're peeing...

vote + : 84 vote - : 86

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 04.6.16 @ 15:10pm

Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.

vote + : 113 vote - : 122

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 03.30.16 @ 16:49pm

If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?

vote + : 59 vote - : 117

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 03.23.16 @ 16:58pm

Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form.

vote + : 171 vote - : 132

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 03.16.16 @ 18:27pm

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I'm in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I'm at the liquor store.

vote + : 221 vote - : 159

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 02.24.16 @ 17:45pm

There's a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.

vote + : 69 vote - : 53

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 02.24.16 @ 17:40pm

Being in the doghouse isn't so bad if there's enough beer in the bowl.

vote + : 148 vote - : 129

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.16.15 @ 16:01pm

Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them.

vote + : 122 vote - : 66

Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.16.15 @ 15:57pm

I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.

vote + : 225 vote - : 190

Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 10.5.15 @ 17:44pm

As a man I am so thankful I don't have to give birth. I could never go nine months without drinking.

vote + : 99 vote - : 101

Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 10.5.15 @ 17:41pm

Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that's when people care what they're drinking!

vote + : 159 vote - : 110

Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 09.7.15 @ 15:03pm

Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?

vote + : 130 vote - : 97

Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 08.24.15 @ 16:46pm

My favorite moment is the 5 minutes every day when coffee overlaps with wine.

vote + : 80 vote - : 67

Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 08.24.15 @ 16:44pm

My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that's my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.

vote + : 152 vote - : 146

Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 08.3.15 @ 14:44pm

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