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What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 03.22.15 @ 09:54am

I donít need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 03.13.15 @ 18:35pm

I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t's totally different.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 03.11.15 @ 18:47pm

At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 03.9.15 @ 18:46pm

I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 03.9.15 @ 18:43pm

If anyone asks, I'm drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 03.5.15 @ 18:01pm

Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 03.4.15 @ 16:44pm

ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 02.25.15 @ 11:53am

I need a partner in wine.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 02.25.15 @ 11:52am

Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 02.20.15 @ 10:55am

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Iíve never pretended to be anything Iím notÖexcept for sober. Iíve pretended to be sober a few times.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 02.19.15 @ 10:35am

I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 02.17.15 @ 12:41pm

I donít care how high you set the bar as long as I can reach my drink.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 02.13.15 @ 12:40pm

Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. Thereís liquor and you canít hear them.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 02.2.15 @ 10:48am

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 02.2.15 @ 10:48am

The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 01.26.15 @ 12:03pm

Thank goodness I'm loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can't blame it on the alcohol.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 01.26.15 @ 12:02pm

Water is so good when it's mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 01.23.15 @ 12:42pm

Sure, I'll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:58am

I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 01.16.15 @ 12:47pm

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