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You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let's negotiate.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 01.7.15 @ 10:52am

Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 01.5.15 @ 10:55am

I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.31.14 @ 11:57am

Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.31.14 @ 11:56am

Me on New Years Eve: “I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.”
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.31.14 @ 11:55am

"I can't wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.31.14 @ 11:55am

WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop yelling
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 12.30.14 @ 10:24am

I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 12.29.14 @ 10:17am

Hangovers are nature's way of grounding you as an adult.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:13pm

"I'll drink to that." -me to my next drink
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 12.19.14 @ 13:11pm

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I'm celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 12.18.14 @ 11:08am

A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?', so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 12.18.14 @ 11:06am

I'm just doing what the beer tells me to.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 12.16.14 @ 11:16am

The older I get, the more I understand someone's desire to just say-"F*ck it. I'm going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 12.15.14 @ 11:28am

I simply haven’t seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 12.12.14 @ 12:37pm

In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 12.12.14 @ 12:35pm

Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 12.11.14 @ 11:22am

Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.10.14 @ 11:18am

Apparently I'm the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 12.10.14 @ 11:16am

Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 12.8.14 @ 11:23am

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