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Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can. 
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 08.19.11 @ 15:43pm

when life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 08.7.11 @ 22:02pm

if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 08.6.11 @ 07:54am

Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 07.20.11 @ 07:47am

Going to drink straight from the carton because I'm a badass!
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 07.10.11 @ 19:49pm

My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 07.9.11 @ 14:07pm

She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 07.5.11 @ 19:09pm

This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 07.2.11 @ 08:53am

For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 06.20.11 @ 19:19pm

Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 06.16.11 @ 17:16pm

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I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 09:48am

Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 06.4.11 @ 17:12pm

When life hands you lemons it should only remind you to buy more tequila, life is as simple as that.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 23:20pm

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Drink till sheīs cute, but stop before the wedding
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

I drink to make other people interesting
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

They should make Vodka ChapStick
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I canīt remember if itīs the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you canīt chug that whole beer!"
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 05.17.11 @ 19:30pm

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