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I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 11.7.14 @ 11:50am
Sometimes I take a bath because it’s hard to drink wine in the shower.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 11.3.14 @ 09:30am
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 11.3.14 @ 09:28am
I'm just looking for a reason not to drink
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 08:50am
My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs. So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 10.31.14 @ 08:46am
I wish I could get excited as a redneck drinking cheap beer and watching cars go around in circles for hours.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 10.29.14 @ 10:17am
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 10.28.14 @ 09:02am
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I'm a ball of fun when I black out.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 10.27.14 @ 08:52am
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. You decide.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 10:16am
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 10.24.14 @ 10:14am
Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Let's drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 10.22.14 @ 08:30am
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 10.22.14 @ 08:27am
I'm a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 10.21.14 @ 10:26am
The lottery gives you a 1 in 20 billion chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game and I'll play mine.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 10.21.14 @ 10:26am
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 10.21.14 @ 10:25am
I know I've had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 10.21.14 @ 10:22am
Why can't the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 10.20.14 @ 09:47am
The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were texting all night with a calculator.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 10.18.14 @ 11:58am
Tonight I’m trying to get to that happy place right between don’t know my own name and head in the toilet.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 10.18.14 @ 11:58am
I'd try Taco Bell's breakfast but I don't start drinking that early.
Category: funny drinking status update on Saturday, 10.18.14 @ 11:57am