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You know you're getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:11am

Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:10am

"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 08.20.14 @ 11:17am

And for my next magic trick, I'll walk down a street and turn into a bar.
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 08.18.14 @ 10:38am

Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 08.17.14 @ 10:53am

Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 08.17.14 @ 10:53am

I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
Category: funny drinking status update on Sunday, 08.17.14 @ 10:51am

Don't you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 08.13.14 @ 11:26am

Girls who don't get naked when you're drunk.. Explain yourselves.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 08.7.14 @ 11:03am

I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 08.7.14 @ 11:03am

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I think I'm gonna shave my legs so that there's less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 08.7.14 @ 11:02am

Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 08.6.14 @ 11:13am

Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.
Category: funny drinking status update on Wednesday, 08.6.14 @ 11:11am

If there's a bar where everybody knows your name, you're probably an alcoholic.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 08.5.14 @ 10:50am

Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 08.5.14 @ 10:49am

Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 08.5.14 @ 10:48am

I like how adding a little OJ to a glass of champagne says “I’m classy” instead of “It’s nine in the morning and I have a drinking problem.”
Category: funny drinking status update on Friday, 08.1.14 @ 11:52am

Some days you just can't get home to your liquor fast enough
Category: funny drinking status update on Thursday, 07.31.14 @ 11:09am

I'm only gonna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone.
Category: funny drinking status update on Tuesday, 07.29.14 @ 09:22am

The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior
Category: funny drinking status update on Monday, 07.28.14 @ 08:39am

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