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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I'll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 14:34pm

Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 14:33pm

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you've got it made!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 14:31pm

Have you ever wondered about the look on someone's face if you hide under their bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to think about.....goodnight!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 14:30pm

People that walk behind cars get exhausted
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 14:21pm

I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 11:41am

My buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 11:40am

I'm a spontaneous procrastinator
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 09.10.11 @ 08:33am

Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 21:06pm

ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 16:22pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 16:11pm

She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 16:09pm

I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I'm getting out =]
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 16:06pm

I own a shop selling 'CLOSED' signs. We haven't had a single customer today.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 15:51pm

True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 09.9.11 @ 15:48pm

loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 20:36pm

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 20:04pm

What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 19:50pm

With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 09.8.11 @ 19:46pm

Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 09.7.11 @ 18:46pm

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