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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don't cut it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.21.11 @ 16:11pm

For most things thereís MasterCard For everything else thereís Vodka
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Monday, 06.20.11 @ 19:19pm

My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.20.11 @ 16:06pm

If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.20.11 @ 16:04pm

so far so good.... no unexpected father's day cards or presents!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.19.11 @ 07:39am

It's all fun and games...unless there's cookies, then it's serious
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.18.11 @ 22:04pm

Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.18.11 @ 09:34am

Coffee...Meet your Maker!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.18.11 @ 09:34am

Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Thursday, 06.16.11 @ 17:16pm

I'd like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I'm afraid they'll be used against me in a court of law someday.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 14:45pm

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I don't believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 09:49am

I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 09:48am

Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 09:47am

Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you're so lazy you didn't even finish reading the number.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 06.15.11 @ 09:46am

I want a doorbell that makes the sound of someone knocking on the door.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.14.11 @ 16:20pm

My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 06.14.11 @ 16:18pm

Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.13.11 @ 19:48pm

Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.13.11 @ 19:48pm

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, Iím coming to your house with a facking baseball bat.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.13.11 @ 19:45pm

I don't get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 06.13.11 @ 18:25pm

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