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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:48am

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:48am

"This isn't my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:48am

The old saying "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:48am

All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:48am

When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:47am

Itís a little sad that todayís youth donít get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:47am

Don't sugar-coat it, I'll just lick that off....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:47am

I didn't want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:47am

The sooner one of you ladies takes Ďone for the teamí and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:47am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:46am

Pretending to be a morning person is exhausting.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:46am

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I'm thinking about getting her a treadmill.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:46am

I get butterflies in my stomach every time I eat butterflies.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:46am

New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:46am

A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:46am

Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, ďIf you fall asleep at work again you're fired"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 09:45am

Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 03.27.14 @ 06:02am

I've got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I'm ready for anything!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 03.26.14 @ 12:46pm

As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 03.26.14 @ 10:11am

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