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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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I know she's talking about rain but I don't like hearing my mom say she got 6 inches
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:21am

*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don't understand what a flash mob actually is.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:21am

Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:21am

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:20am

If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn't invite me over.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:20am

I'll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:20am

Nice tan, what's your race? Carrot?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:20am

Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:20am

There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:20am

I just want someone who will love me for the a$$hole that I am ;)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:20am

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In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:19am

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:19am

Iím starting to think that the gym isnít really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:19am

Think about the nicest thing anyone's ever said about you. Not really true, right?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:19am

Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 11:19am

íFridayí is my second favourite word starting from the letter 'F'. :)
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 09:43am

Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I'm not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 00:11am

Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.24.14 @ 00:04am

I've found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
Posted By: DAVE - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 05.23.14 @ 19:08pm

I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let's go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........
Posted By: DAVE - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 05.23.14 @ 19:05pm

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