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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 11:38am

My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 11:38am

funny status idea: a funny and popular one
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 11:37am

If I were my boss, I'd never leave my coffee cup unattended.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 11:37am

A show called the view shouldn't hurt your eyes
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 11:37am

I broke a mirror now I'm looking at 7 years bad luck... but my lawyer thinks he can get me off with 3
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.21.15 @ 11:37am

Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:59am

I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:59am

I've got a lot to unlearn.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:58am

My safe word is letsgetmarried.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:58am

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These ‘energy saving' light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:58am

2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:58am

Sure, I'll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:58am

Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:57am

If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:57am

A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:57am

Facebook posts with 12 hashtags, who the f*ck are you trying to reach?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:57am

Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:57am

Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:56am

My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.20.15 @ 10:56am

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