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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I donít know, and I donít care.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:02am

When does hibernation start? Because I am 100% participating in that.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:02am

I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don't have great childing skills either.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:01am

Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:01am

Sometimes you've got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:01am

The only honest people in the world are small children and me after a couple cocktails.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:01am

why would anyone want a baby? It's just another thing you have to clean
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:01am

Why didn't you tell me that I wasn't going to like you
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:00am

For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:00am

If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is donít love anything.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:00am

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive. However, we are now posting more that we would have rejected for not being funny to us. As long as it's not vulgar or unreadable or not even related to a silly status.
Check out more at Almost Silly Statuses

The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if you get Me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:00am

Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:00am

Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:00am

Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 11:00am

I don't think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we're both pointing at the same tornado.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 10:59am

I think "Don't Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 10:59am

Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 10:59am

"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 10:59am

I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 10:59am

And, yet another day Iíve gone without using calculus.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 09.30.14 @ 10:59am

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