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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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It's always quiet on here at the weekends, it's like you people have lives or something...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 05.11.14 @ 09:57am

Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 21:56pm

I'm one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 20:50pm

Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 20:14pm

So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn't apply to technology?
Posted By: AlienFood - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 19:36pm

Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:36am

You say hangover. I say out of booze.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:36am

If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:36am

If life was easy, we wouldn't need alcohol.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:35am

You know you're single when the only calls you get at night are Nature's.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:35am

Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
Gyms are full of people that haven't found the right couch.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:35am

Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn't going according to plan.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:35am

You're the reason why I believe in condoms.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:34am

As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:34am

Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:34am

I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to 'laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series' as a "marathon"
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:34am

All the guys in working out photos look like they're straining or in pain, but there's lots of pictures of me with cake and I look happy. Just saying.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:34am

Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious 'hold my drink' moments for 50 years...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:33am

That sounds fried. I'll take it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:33am

The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you're wrong.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 05.10.14 @ 09:33am

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