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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You're D. U're
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 01.7.15 @ 10:51am

There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:15am

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:15am

Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:15am

If it wasn't for pizza delivery, you wouldn't see me shoveling a walkway.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:15am

Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:15am

I didn't mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:14am

Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that's everyday
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:14am

The bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:14am

Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:14am

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
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Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:13am

That son of a b*tch moment when you're walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:13am

My IQ? ... With google or without?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:13am

Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:13am

Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:13am

Nobody cares what you're gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:12am

We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:12am

2015 and I still can't believe it's not butter!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:12am

Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:12am

No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Tuesday, 01.6.15 @ 10:12am

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