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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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It's a good thing farting isn't as contagious as yawning.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:19am

Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:19am

Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:19am

"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:18am

Saying "think outside the box" is a pretty inside the box suggestion.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:18am

You can't lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:18am

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:18am

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:18am

It's remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:17am

If I could move things by telekinesis I'd squeeze people's insides and make them fart.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:17am

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If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:17am

I believe in living every day like it's my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:17am

The one good thing about an egotist. They don't talk about other people.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:17am

You know why it's called almond milk? Cuz you can't say nut juice with a straight face
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:16am

I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:16am

Spiderman's Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:16am

There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:16am

It's not too late to start convincing our children that the world really did end in 2012 and we're the survivors.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:16am

The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:15am

Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Saturday, 06.23.18 @ 11:15am

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