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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:12am

When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:12am

If you Google the word 'overreacting' there's a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:12am

You're really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:12am

My ice bucket challenge: 1. Buy bucket 2. Add ice 3. Add 12 beers 4. Sign into FB and drink
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:11am

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:11am

You know you're getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:11am

Co-worker: My wife's an angel. Me: You're lucky, mine's still alive.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:11am

In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:11am

No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:11am

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You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:11am

Someday, I hope to be so rich that I'll never be happy again.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:10am

Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Thursday, 08.21.14 @ 11:10am

I'm changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Posted By: Chris Kibbe - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.20.14 @ 17:21pm

I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.20.14 @ 11:17am

"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny drinking status update saying on Wednesday, 08.20.14 @ 11:17am

I'm about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.20.14 @ 11:17am

The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.20.14 @ 11:17am

Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.20.14 @ 11:17am

Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Wednesday, 08.20.14 @ 11:17am

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