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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.5.15 @ 11:23am

Today's society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 07.5.15 @ 11:23am

Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Posted By: Just Sage - Category: funny status update saying on Thursday, 07.2.15 @ 21:10pm

Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:56pm

I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:56pm

I wish some people's cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:56pm

It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:55pm

I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:55pm

What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:55pm

Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:55pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive. However, we are now posting more that we would have rejected for not being funny to us. As long as it's not vulgar or unreadable or not even related to a silly status.
Check out more at Almost Silly Statuses

My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:55pm

Waldo’s mom must be worried sick.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:55pm

Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:54pm

My bank balance is a constant reminder that I'm safe from identity theft
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:54pm

I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can't wait for someone to ask me for it!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:54pm

It's funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I'm going to say stop.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:54pm

Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:54pm

Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:54pm

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Probably still mirrors.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:53pm

Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 06.28.15 @ 20:53pm

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