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Thousands of the best, funny, witty, hilarious, crazy, silly Facebook statuses and sayings. If you are looking for a funny status or funny saying, you can find them here.

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My life has a great cast, but I canít figure out the plot.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:44pm

I donít want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:43pm

I think stupid people were put on this earth to test my anger management skills.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:43pm

Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:43pm

The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don't even have to hide a body.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:43pm

Hold on I'm about to count my money. Alright I'm done.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:43pm

The coolest tourist attraction in the world is the Sistine Chapel, because it's full of ceiling fans.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:43pm

Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:43pm

I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:42pm

Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I'm concerned
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:42pm

We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don't think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive. However, we are now posting more that we would have rejected for not being funny to us. As long as it's not vulgar or unreadable or not even related to a silly status.
Check out more at Almost Silly Statuses

Itís whatís on the inside that counts, unless youíre talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:42pm

Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:42pm

My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald's, you didn't really go to McDonalds.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Monday, 04.6.15 @ 18:42pm

sorry abaut the message I sent you last night, my phone was drunk!
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Sunday, 04.5.15 @ 02:55am

"Iím definitely going to do that tomorrow.Ē ó Me being delusional
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 04.3.15 @ 16:16pm

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest heís too old for it.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 04.3.15 @ 16:16pm

For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 04.3.15 @ 16:15pm

I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there's my drink.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 04.3.15 @ 16:15pm

I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 04.3.15 @ 16:15pm

I donít understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, Iíd stay at home with the wife.
Posted By: Guest - Category: funny status update saying on Friday, 04.3.15 @ 16:15pm

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